Too Frequent
by kemokage
Summary: An in depth look at the origins of the frequent kidnapping card.
1. Chapter 1

**Okay here is my first Megamind story, first post on livejournal now posted here in chapter form. I've written the whole thing out already so no worries about updating. Hope you enjoy! R&R**

**I do not own Megamind, it is the property of Dreamworks.**

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"Miss Ritchi, how nice of you to visit."

Megamind let out a short maniacal laugh as he switched on the blinding spotlight overhead, illuminating himself and Roxanne in an otherwise darkened room. Recently Megamind had decided to experiment with some of the more classic reveals. Buying a cat was definitely on his 'to do' list. He needed something to pet in his lap if he were to ever really make good use of his giant swivel chair.

"Megamind. And here I was thinking that you had forgotten about me, well hoping anyway." For a moment Roxanne thought a pained expression flashed across Megamind's face before being replaced by his arrogant smile as he slowly began to encroach on her.

"Oh Miss Ritchi you have no idea how much your words wound me. I could never forget about you." Roxanne simply sighed and rolled her eyes.

"Couldn't you bind and gag somebody else for a change? Honestly I think I deserve a frequent kidnapping card for all the times you've involved me in one of your schemes."

"A what?"

"I believe she said a frequent kidnapping card sir," Minion said from the shadows.

"Thank you Minion!" Megamind shouted at the blank space that Minion's voice had issued from. "And when I ask you to lurk in the shadows, I expect you to be silent!" He whirled back to face Roxanne. "Explain. What is this card that you speak of?"

A disbelieving grin appeared on Roxanne's face. "You know like a frequent shopper card, where a company gives you prizes for buying a certain number of their products, or frequent flyer miles, where an airline gives you free trips for flying with them? Listen, it was just a joke, I don't expect you to start paying me compensation."

"We shall see abo-"

That was when Metro Man decided to make a rather explosive entrance, literally.


	2. Chapter 2

**I do not own Megamind, it is owned by Dreamworks. Please read and review.**

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_One prison break later..._

"I can't tell you how wonderful it is to see you again Miss Ritchi."

"Wish I could say the same to you, but, well, seeing as how it's you..." Again Roxanne noticed that same pained expression on Megamind's face. _My comments couldn't actually be hurting his **feelings**. Could they?_

"Yes, well, today I'm afraid there shall be no escape! For you see below us my thermo-ionic drill is already buried deep beneath the earth's surface harvesting the planet's very energy. Then when Metro Man bursts in he shall be unable to evade the overwhelming heat of the earth's very core! Muwahahahahahahahahahahaha!"

"Sir? Aren't you forg-"

"What Minion? Haven't I told you how much I hate to have my evil laugh interrupted?"

"Yes Sir you have, I just wanted to remind you about Miss Ritchi's FKC." Realization dawned on Megamind's face.

"Oh, yes Minion! Although there was really no need to remind me, I would have remembered on my own... eventually."

"I'm sure you would have Sir."

For once Roxanne had no idea what was going on. "FKC? What is that? Have you developed some new evil kind of fried chicken?"

"Even better! Ta-da!" With a flourish of his hand Megamind presented a small, light blue card up to Roxanne's face. Roxanne took a minute to take in exactly what she was seeing. The card bore Megamind's trademark lightning bolt insignia, at its bottom twenty blank spaces had been laid out in a grid, and at its top the words "Frequent Kidnapping Card" had been printed.

"Is this what I think it is?"

"Never say that I'm not one to listen to suggestions," Megamind said with a gleeful expression plastered on his face.

"Seriously? You can't wash the bag I complain about every time you kidnap me, but a frequent kidnapping card is no problem?"

"Why don't y-"

Again Megamind's words were cut short as the earth began to shake uncontrollably.

"Minion! Is something wrong with the drill?"

"The drill just went offline Sir!"

"What? But h-"

That was when Metro Man burst from the floor, his right fist armed with Megamind's gigantic thermo-ionic drill.

"Oh, this is going to hurt," Megamind said as his face turned to a lighter shade of blue.


	3. Chapter 3

**I do not own Megamind, it is owned by Dreamworks. R & R!**

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_Twenty kidnappings later..._

"I believe congratulations are in order today Miss Ritchi!"

"Why? Have you decided to update your wardrobe?"

"No. What? Why? What's wrong with my wardrobe? Don't you like leather?"

"Sure, but your cape has so many chains on it, Metro Man might as well not bother with the handcuffs and just wrap you up in that instead." Megamind fingered his cape and pouted for a moment before excitement again won out.

"No, despite your lack of fashion sense, that is not what we are celebrating!"

"Well you have me completely captivated. What is it?"

"Today is the day you receive the twentieth stamp on your Frequent Kidnapping Card!"

"Oh really! Man the time has just flown by!" Roxanne was really laying the sarcasm on thick today. Still she wondered what kind of prize Megamind could have possibly thought up for this.

"So without further ado, your prize! Wa la!" Megamind swooshed his cape over the table sitting in front of them once and revealed a small, perfectly replicated, Megamind bobble-head.

Roxanne allowed the shock to wash over her. Then she burst out laughing. The eager smile Megamind had been wearing slowly dropped down into disappointment and... Roxanne noticed the same pained expression on Megamind's face she sometimes caught glimpses of, only this time the expression wasn't fading away.

"You don't like it," he said.

"Seriously? Who in their right mind would! It's a bobble-head of you! I see enough of your giant blue head as it is, I don't need a reminder of it to greet me at my desk everyday!" Roxanne and Megamind both cringed at that a little. She wasn't usually so mean, so cruel. She couldn't understand what was making her act this way.

"Fine, then consider the FKC program cancelled. Sorry but all coupons have now expired." He pulled out a remote and clicked it. Roxanne's restraints slid back into the seat. Roxanne looked up at Megamind in surprise. _Is he letting me go?_

Megamind pointed one of his gloved fingers toward the secret entrance. They would have to move again, but he had planned for that anyways. His chin had dropped down onto his chest. He didn't really want to look at her right now. "There, you're free to go. Don't let the holographic wall hit you on the way out."

"That's it? No new gadgets? No big monologue? No overly-complicated plans? What's Metro Man going to think when he gets here?"

"Well, what with my busy shay-dool, I haven't really gotten the time to call him yet today. So again, you're free to go."

"Is this all because I didn't like the stupid bobble-head?" Megamind's head snapped up at that. He strode over to her, his cape knocking the bobble-head into her lap in the process, and gripped the armrests of either side of her. There was now an expression on his face that Roxanne had never seen before, but for once in her life Roxanne was actually afraid for her safety in his presence.

Megamind's eyes swept over Roxanne's face, taking in her fear. This should have made him feel happy, it was the reaction he was always looking for, but it only made him feel the exact opposite, it made him feel anything but. It made him feel evil, and not the fantastically cool evil of super-villainy, just plain evil. Megamind sighed. He didn't want Roxanne to look at him this way anymore.

"Minion, will you please escort our guest on her way out?" Megamind asked as he slumped down into his swivel chair and turned his back on both Roxanne and Minion.

"Of course Sir. Miss Ritchi, this way if you don't mind," Minion said as he started to guide Roxanne down the hall. In a daze Roxanne got up and clutched the bobble-head in her hand when it was about to fall. She turned back one last time to look at Megamind. All she could see was the back of his chair.

"Megamind..." she started.

"Goodbye Roxanne!" he shouted in reply. This seemed to snap Roxanne back into focus and she hurried to catch up to Minion's longer strides. When they reached the holo-wall, Roxanne turned to look up at Minion. He managed her a weak smile.

"You know I didn't mean to hurt him, but I couldn't have really hurt his feelings that badly. I mean it's just a bobble-head, that was a prize for being kidnapped by him _so_ many times. I mean really." Minion simply sighed and looked down at her with a somewhat sad expression.

"I know he doesn't want me telling you this, but you have to understand. He didn't really plan this kidnapping for some Metro Man plot, he did it for you so that he could celebrate you completing your first card. It took him weeks to make that little bobble-head. His craftsmanship skills don't really extend to that area. You wouldn't believe how many different models he threw out because he didn't think they were good enough. He even asked me to bake a cake, which I'm guessing he didn't offer to you because it also has his face on it."

"But why?"

"Well I don't know if you've noticed this Miss Ritchi, but the boss does have a bit of a self-obsession."

"No, I mean, why would he do all of that for me?" Minion's face sombered slightly.

"I am the only friend Megamind has ever had or at least the closest thing, and if that's true, then you and to some extent the Warden and Metro Man are the next closest things."

"Metro M-"

"Miss Ritchi, please, let me finish. Megamind has rarely celebrated anything in his life, he never has had much of a reason to, so when he finally did have a reason, he wanted to make this something special, for you."

"But why should he care at all? Why should any of this matter?"

"Miss Ritchi, Megamind may be a super-villain, but he isn't heartless." That comment shut Roxanne up completely and as she stumbled out through the hologram and tried to find a taxi back to her office, she didn't even bother to check and see where exactly they had hidden the lair this time.


	4. Chapter 4

**I do not own Megamind, it is owned by Dreamworks. Please R & R!**

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_Later that day..._

Roxanne finally slumped down into her office chair, exhausted by the days events. Looking down she realized, with some surprise, that she was still tightly gripping Megamind's bobble-head. She looked at the offending item and placed it on her desk in front of her. She flicked the head once with her index finger and as she watched that large cranium jiggle around, she couldn't help but smile. It really was too cute. It had a cape with a pointy collar and everything, and there were no chains on this little thing, it just had spikes. Roxanne rather preferred the spikes, they were much more flattering. _What am I saying? I shouldn't prefer anything._ Roxanne hit the little big head, as it were, with her finger one more time and had to stifle a giggle. She had never really realized how fun these things could be. _They just always seemed really tacky to me._

Just then she heard a knock at her door. "Come in." Upon seeing her boss walk in, Roxanne immediately sat a little straighter in her seat and tried to appear as busy as possible.

"Yes Mr. Jameson, what can I do for you?"

"Oh Hal just told me you had gotten back from your latest kidnapping. Wanted to check and see what our next big story might be."

"Sorry boss, but I don't have much of a scoop for you today. He didn't even try to challenge Metro Man, just kidnapped me and let me go."

"Just let you go? Jeez I hope this guy isn't going completely soft on us. He may be a menace to the city, but the people just eat this stuff up. Everybody loves to hate a good villain and he fits the bill perfectly."

_Yeah he does. A little too perfectly._ Roxanne thought to herself.

"Hey, what's that on your desk?" Roxanne looked with embarrassment at her boss's finger pointing at the bobble-head.

"Actually this is a gift from Megamind. He gave it to me today for filling out my 'Frequent Kidnapping Card.'"

"Really? That's nuts. Hah! Hah! Look at this thing! Make it ten times bigger and we'd have a dead ringer for the real thing! Man that guy's crazy," her boss said as he carelessly tossed the bobble-head into the trash.

Roxanne swallowed around a sudden lump in her throat. "Yeah, but you know Megamind."

Her boss just smiled and winked at her. "Nope, wish I did though, he makes out to be one interesting character. But I think I'll just leave knowing Megamind up to the expert eh? What do you say Roxy?"

"Sure thing boss." _Except I'm not even sure if I know Megamind._

"Great! Exactly what I like to hear. Keep up the good work Roxy."

"Will do." Roxanne let out a deep sigh after the door finally closed. She peered over at her trashcan. _I should just leave it in there._ She could see the little head, with its two little green eyes starring right back at her. His face looks so innocent painted on that thing. But she knew that it was anything but. _I can't allow myself to get confused. Minion may have told me a nice sob story, but it's a person's actions that truly tell you who they are and Megamind's tell me all I need to know._

_I should just leave it in there. Forget about it. I will._


	5. Chapter 5

**I do not own Megamind. Megamind is owned by Dreamworks. Feedback is always appreciated!**

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_Approximately six months later..._

Roxanne decided that it couldn't hurt to show a little enthusiasm. "Could someone stamp my frequent kidnapping card?"

"Ah! Ah! ha! ha! ho! ho! ho! hmm!" Megamind's forced laughter soon faded into a somewhat sterner countenance. "You of all people should know that we discontinued that promotion." He quickly turned his back on Roxanne and made his hasty goodbyes. Whenever Roxanne looked at him it felt like she could read his every facial expression like a book, a very open book. He was as every bit unnerved by it as he was afraid of the day when she would stop doing it, the day when she realized that there was nothing there to look at, that there was nothing there _worth_ looking at. _Just like the kids in shool._

Then he noticed that Metro Man wasn't bursting out through the copper dome of the abandoned observatory to come to Roxanne's rescue...


	6. Chapter 6

**Megamind is the property of Dreamworks. I do not claim any rights to it. Enjoy and please review!**

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_Approximately one year later..._

Megamind swept his eyes across the apartment once more and sighed in frustration. Finally he gave in and walked over to the bathroom door. He could hear the sound of the shower running on the other side where Roxanne was getting ready.

"Roxanne," he called out as he gently knocked on the door a few times. "Roxanne can you hear me?"

"Yes, I can hear you Megamind," came back the reply. "What is it?"

"I can't find the keys to the invisible car, did you put them somewhere?"

"Yes, I believe they're in my top desk drawer."

"Why did you put them _there_?"

"So that I'd have an answer for you the next time you misplaced them."

"Ha ha, very funny."

"I certainly thought so."

Megamind smiled and strode over to Roxanne's desk, entirely ripping the drawer out of the desk in his overzealous haste to get to the keys. Several objects toppled onto the floor including the keys and with a few choice mutterings he bent down to pick everything up. That was when something light blue that had fallen under the desk caught his eye. He reached out and grabbed it for a closer examination and shock lit his face the moment he realized what it was. He recognized it immediately, it was the bobble-head he had made for Roxanne in what seemed like a lifetime ago. He couldn't believe it. He didn't think Roxanne had even taken the little memento, let alone kept it for all this time. His face broke out into a huge grin.

"Roxanne!"

"What is it? Were they not there?"

"Roxanne I need you!"

"Okay, okay just give me a minute."

A few moments later Roxanne walked in with a soft white robe tied about her, a pink towel wrapped around her neck, and her hair still dripping wet from the shower.

"Okay, what is it that you had to see me before I could even finish taking a shower?"

"This," Megamind said as he held up the bobble-head doll triumphantly. Surprise flitted across Roxanne's face before she gave him a small grin.

"Oh, so you found that did you?"

"Yes I found it. What is it doing here? I didn't think you would have kept it."

Roxanne walked forward and gently took the doll from Megamind's hand and placed it down onto the desk off to the side, but not before giving its a head a little flick for good measure. Then she draped her arms around Megamind's neck and look up at the slightly taken aback look in his eye.

"Well I guess I have a bit of a confession to make. Minion told me how much effort you put into making that little guy, you know back on that day."

"He did?" Megamind looked sheepishly down at his feet, his cheeks turning a slightly darker shade of purple. Roxanne smiled and lifted up his chin with one of her fingers, waiting until his eyes drifted back up to hers, and then allowed her forehead to rest against his.

"Yeah. After that I just couldn't bear to get rid of it, and I found that during those breaks between kidnappings it was kind of nice having a little reminder of that dashingly handsome blue head of yours." Megamind's eyes widened in surprise and he grinned devilishly before seizing her around the waist and spinning her around, pinning her down onto the desk. He pressed his lips hungrily against hers like a drowning man seeking air. Roxanne was surprised at first, Megamind was not typically so forward and confident when it came to displays of physical affection, but she quickly relaxed into it and responded eagerly. Megamind's enthusiasm was contagious and it was if she could feel a burning heat radiating from each other's skin as they desperately clung onto one another. Roxanne knew that for all his bravado, Megamind had very little self-confidence when it came to his alien appearance, how he sometimes suspected that the physical attraction between them was not mutual, but she had all the patience in the world when it came to proving to him that that theory simply wasn't true. The spark that existed between them was ignited long before the "Bernard incident", _that_ simply fanned the flames a little.

Finally their lips parted, their entire bodies panting, their mouths gasping for breath, both of their faces entirely flushed with desire and happiness. With eyes somewhat glazed over Megamind's face broke out into a smile of utter contentment.

"Have I told you just how much I love you?" Megamind asked as he swept Roxanne's still damp bangs back into place. Roxanne smiled as she allowed her hand to lazily stroke along the side of Megamind's face.

"Frequently," was all she said as she pulled his head down for another kiss.

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**The End. Yay! That's one completed story anyway. Hope everyone enjoyed reading this!**


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